It is Perfectly Fine to Say "I feel...."

Women are frequently cautioned - and at times criticised - for saying “I feel….” statements in meetings.  This is huge mistake because when someone prefaces their remarks with “I feel” they are really saying “I deeply believe….”  They are speaking with the power and wisdom of all their senses and emotions.  Their words have been formed in a place of truth and integrity.  “I feel” statements are spoken with passion and intensity because of the deep conviction that the speaker has in what she (or he) is saying.

The first female US Secretary of State speaks about how her “I feel….” statements were causing her male colleagues to respond in a non-comprehending manner, “What’s with this “I feel?” they would ask her.  Secretary Albright was delighted and felt vindicated when in a high-level meeting in the United Nations another woman spoke and commenced her remarks with “I feel…”  In this video she speaks about this experience amongst other fascinating anecdotes and insights.

http://www.ted.com/talks/madeleine_albright_on_being_a_woman_and_a_diplomat.html

Any time that a fellow team member, manager, senior executive, professional, or board member starts off by saying “I feel,” it is time to prick up our ears and listen very carefully.  You will hear the deep truth from that person’s perspective.

What might have been realised, and what might have been avoided, if only people had listened to more of the “I feel” statements in the first decade of this century?  If the “I feel” statements had triggered the sharp focus of others instead of being dismissed as soft and emotional, would the dips and turns of the financial roller coaster that the world has been flung around on since 2008 have been as savage and destructive?  So let’s listen when someone speaks from their heart and gut because these are the words that can cut through to the real truth of an issue like no list of facts or numbers ever could.

Lynne Lloyd
People Results 
Executive Coaching and Talent Development
Email:  enquiries@peopleresults.com.au
Web:   www.peopleresults.com.au