8 Top Ways for Women to Negotiate Successfully

1.    Instead of Negotiate, Think  “I’ll Ask”

The word negotiation has some negative connotations that stop us from doing it.  Negotiation sounds like a very formal, serious and competitive event.  It can seem scary!  Take the negative out of it by substituting the phrase “OK, I’ll ask” instead of “I’ll negotiate.” 

2.    Without Fail, Always Negotiate. 

Even if you are delighted by what appears to be a generous offer, do not immediately jump to “Yes, I’ll take it.”   Research studies show that men negotiate far more often than women; in fact up to nine times more.  Raise the number of times you negotiate daily and weekly.  The more you ask, the more you will receive for yourself, your team and your organisation.  Always negotiating can become one of your most effective management tools.

Raise the number of times you negotiate daily and weekly.

3.    Don’t Wait for Someone Else to Offer 

Do not wait until someone else notices what you need at work.  This is the squeaky-wheel tactic and it works.  Start by asking your manager for small things and work up from there.  Firstly ask yourself, “What do I need to do my job better?  What resources does my team need to perform better?  What does my division need to reach our targets?” Then go ask for it.

4.    Use Your Own Communication Style

If a woman tries a tougher, more combative approach when negotiating, most likely she will meet greater resistance and even opposition.  This tactic will backfire.  As women negotiators, we can be tough on the issues and targets but not tough in how we communicate.  There is an old saying that we attract more flies with honey.  So the kinder, softer, more collaborative communication style that is natural for most women will work fine when negotiating.  

5.    Slow Down and Get the Best Possible Deal

When you are told the details of any arrangement, for example if you have been promoted and your new remuneration package is under discussion, be upfront and say that you need some time to consider it.  Arrange another meeting and go away to think, consult others, research and prepare your counter offer.  When you rush through a negotiation, you will lose value for yourself.


6.    Broaden your Perspective from “It’s just me!”

Even the most experienced commercial negotiators find negotiating for themselves relatively difficult.  As women, we can get mired in self-doubts like “How much am I entitled to?” “Shouldn’t I be grateful to have this job?” and “Will I be seen as too demanding and aggressive?”   Broaden your perspective from “It’s just me!” and negotiate from a position of strength and leadership. Try imagining what you would say and do if you were negotiating for a third party with the same qualifications, experience and achievements as yourself.  Then do it for you.

7.    Whenever your Role or Responsibilities Change, it is Time to Negotiate

A significant change in role and expansion of responsibilities is the time to negotiate with your employer.  Whether intentional or not, the employer may neglect to mention any change of title, remuneration or entitlements.  So remember the trigger of change and ask for a new package.  You will, of course, be very clear about what you want (homework, research!) and will prepare a strong case.

8.    When you are asked to make a Concession, Always Get Something in Return
You are asked to give up something small and insignificant and you readily agree.  Then you are asked for another small concession, and again you agree.  In negotiation terms, this tactic is called “nibbling” and all these small concessions can add up to a lot for the other party who is gaining more and more from you without having to give anything in exchange. 

So if you are asked to make even the smallest concession, ask for something of value to you in return.  If you are taken by surprise and not sure of what you want in return, ask if the request can be “parked” off to the side temporarily as you consider it.


You can become a very successful negotiator for yourself, your team and your organisation.  People Results can help.  We have two negotiation workshop dates coming up in July and August:  one on the 25th July in Brisbane. Hurry if you would like to attend this workshop as only 2 places remain.  Please register here.  Our other workshop date is 8th August in Toowoomba.  Please register here.


Please note that People Results also delivers the Successful Negotiation workshop for your organisation exclusively.  Please let us know if an in-house workshop is a preferred option.

Any questions?  Please get in touch by phone or email for answers and assistance with registering for the workshops. We look forward to speaking with you soon.


To your Success,

Lynne Lloyd
Managing Director
People Results
Executive Coaching and Talent Development
T  1300 167 981
F  07 3910 1003
E  enquiries@peopleresults.com.au 
W www.peopleresults.com.au

Don’t Just Accept It, Negotiate It!

My position description does not list negotiation skills as a core capability.  Do I really need to be a good negotiator to do my job well? 

Negotiation skills are often categorised with conflict resolution skills or as part of the sales process.  While these are two key applications of negotiation, they are not the complete picture.  In effect, negotiation abilities are multi-faceted and useful in many different work and personal situations.

Even when we do not have the authority to make the decision, we can influence the decision-makers and the choices they make through negotiating.  When we negotiate fairly and effectively, we are empowered.  We are active and influential participants rather than passive recipients.  Across diverse situations, negotiation improves the likelihood of securing workable solutions that hold benefits for us and others.  Negotiation is versatile, accessible and empowering for individuals, groups and organisations. 

When negotiating, ask questions to explore the positions and interests of the parties. 

Prior to initiating a negotiation, there are two important precursors.  The first is to recognise that negotiation begins with developing a particular mindset, one of being open to possibilities and looking with fresh eyes.  Successful negotiation is not just a matter of taking a common-sense approach and sitting down with others to have a discussion.  Negotiation has its own language, models, processes and tactics which must be learnt before being put into practice. 

The second precursor is to recognise many everyday situations as opportunities to negotiate.  Negotiation is more than international deals, commercial contracts or buying a new car.  It is also the everyday agreements we can reach in cooperation with others.  Through negotiation we can achieve equitable and more sustainable solutions.

Improving our knowledge, awareness and abilities to negotiate allows us to achieve more than ever have before in our interactions with senior managers, peers and external stakeholders.  So don’t just accept it, negotiate it!

If you would like to gain successful negotiation strategies and skills, People Results is offering two workshop dates in July and August 2012.  The first workshop is being held on Wednesday 25^th July in Brisbane - only two places remain in this course so please be quick.  You can register here.  Our other workshop is being held in Toowoomba on Wednesday 8^th August; please register here.

Lynne Lloyd

Managing Director

People Results

Executive Coaching and Talent Development

Telephone:  1300 167 981 

Mobile:  0421 998749 

Email:  enquiries@peopleresults.com.au 

Web:  www.peopleresults.com.au 

What Messages Are You Reinforcing?

What we repeatedly do is what we become known for.  Others form perceptions about us by acutely observing our behaviours.  We are the medium and we are the message. (A tip of the hat to Marshall McLuhan!)

What if someone is always playing the role of “Class Clown” in management meetings?  Even though Andrew meets all his targets and knows his stuff, he is always joking and acting in a flippant, casual manner in meetings.  His managers and peers perceive him as “not serious about the business and doesn’t care about getting into more senior roles.” 

Send in the Clowns!  Don't let it be you.

 What if someone is compliant and meekly accepting when he/she is loaded with more and more work?  When Emma is approached by her manager and colleagues with requests to take on another project or help them research and write the report for the board meeting, she is always obliging and always says “Yes.”  Yet underneath her cheerful exterior, Emma is seething with indignation and frustration that she is always the one who is loaded down with more and more work.   Emma has been reinforcing the message that she is the “Willing Workhorse” who is dependable, gets things done, and likes to help.  

What about someone who is the quieter, more reflective person on the team?  As the National Procurement Manager, Janice is on the executive management team at her company, a leader in the logistics industry.  She attends all the meetings without fail, yet Janice’s voice  is only heard when she is asked a direct question.  Otherwise Janice is content to listen carefully to the vigorous discussions that are the basis for their high-level decision-making.  Janice is certain that the others know her value and her contributions to the business.  She likes to gather all the data, analyse it and formulate her responses and recommendations after the meeting is over and she has time to think through all the options. 

In the minds of the other executive team members, Janice is perceived as a non-player who might as well not even be there.  No, they cannot see what she does behind the scenes; they can only see and hear that she is not “present” when it counts at their meetings.  The Managing Director has noted Janice’s lack of input and interprets it as “reticent to put her views forward, a bit timid, lacking in confidence ….” 

In each of the three examples above, the managers are repeating the same behaviours and reinforcing the same messages over and over again.  Unless they change these behaviours, they will continue to be perceived as:

The Juvenile Joker

The Willing Workhorse

The Quiet Achiever

The solution is to become far more personally self-aware and consciously manage how others perceive you in the key forums of organisational life.   Stop being your “natural self” and letting things take their natural course.  Stop the behaviours that are hurting your image, such as being the Juvenile Joker around the office and in meetings.  When asked yet again to take on more work and your in-tray is overflowing with high-priority projects, deliberately pull back from saying “Yes” like you always have and say “I am not available.”  Be ready to stall, defer and negotiate. 

If you are “The Quiet Achiever,” and need time to prepare before speaking, get into the habit of thinking about and jotting down some comments and questions on key agenda points before you go into the meeting so you feel confident and ready to speak without being prompted.  Be visible and audible in meetings and you will rapidly enhance your executive presence.  If you have found that others are claiming credit for your ideas and solutions, intervene with the appropriate persons and in the appropriate forums with your own clear communication that it was you who deserves the credit.  Do not overlook it when someone claims your ideas.  Immediately step in and correct them.  If they have got away with plagiarising your ideas in the past, they will assume that you won’t challenge them on it.  But you do challenge them and set them back in their box.  They won’t try it again.

In summary, what we consistently do and say is reinforcing the same messages over and over.  If these messages are not how you want to be perceived by significant others (including those who will make decisions on your future), it is time is stop these behaviours and put other ones in their place.  Do it slowly and gradually at first until you know that you can confidently build the messages and meanings that will enhance your executive presence.

To your Success,

Lynne Lloyd

Managing Director

People Results

p.s.  If you would like to attend a professional development program that will get you started on building a strong and successful executive presence, our next ExecutivePresence Half-Day public workshop is being held on Wednesday, 29^th August 2012 in Brisbane.  For more information, contact People Results direct on 1300 167 981 or enquiries@peopleresults.com.au. 

Let Us Not Diminish the Hero

With the footie season in full swing and the London Olympics just around the corner, we are hearing and seeing a great deal about heroes in the mass media.  The epithet of “heroic” is often used rather too loosely to describe people whose actions are not necessarily heroic in the true sense.  A hero is brave, courageous and has little regard for personal protection or safety in his or her actions.  Do our star footballers qualify for heroic status?  Perhaps some do like the recently-retired Darren Lockyer who rarely transgressed in his off-field behaviour.  Darren has been a superb role model of a true professional for others to admire and emulate on and off “the paddock.”

Sally Pearson, superb Australian athlete and strong chance for Gold at the London Olympics

Is there a hero within each of us?  Under the right set of circumstances, we can all be heroes.   One circumstance that every mother knows well is the instinct to be fiercely protective of one's children. Just anyone try to hurt our child by word or deed and we will spring to the attack.  

In organisational life, we are often called on to be “heroes” as we lead and teach others, becoming role models for how to think, say and act courageously and ethically.  However, what we often neglect to do well is to let others know what we have achieved and how we achieved our results. Sometimes we may even be dismissive and self-deprecating about our successes, thinking that anyone else could have done as well.  Not necessarily so, given that each individual is a unique combination of talents, experience and temperament.  

One of the practical techniques in the People Results’ Executive Presence workshop is how to have a selection of personal success stories at your command and to speak those stories readily when you unexpectedly bump into the Managing Director in the car park, or find yourself face to face with the Executive Chairman in the middle of a CBD coffee shop.  These are precious moments of truth when you can speak with power and conviction about your recent achievements, always giving full credit to the involvement and contributions of your colleagues and team members.

In your success story you will cast yourself in the role of “hero” in how you led and guided your team to reach the successful outcomes.  Because of the skill and finesse in which you conduct this conversation, you will not be perceived as boastful or big-headed.  Quite the opposite, in fact, you will be regarded as being articulate and self-assured.  In the workshop, we practise this technique using a very simple and effective conversational model.  

To enhance your executive presence and stand out as a leader within your organisation and in other key forums, we invite you to attend the Executive Presence for Women Half-Day workshop on Wednesday, 20th June in Brisbane.  

People Results also offers the Executive Presence workshop in-house for your staff members.  Please let us know if you would like to discuss this option.

To Your Success,

Lynne Lloyd

Managing Director

People Results

Executive Coaching and Talent Development

Telephone:  1300 167 981

Mobile:  0421 998749

Email:  enquiries@peopleresults.com.au

Web:  www.peopleresults.com.au

The Big Speech: Once More with Feeling Please!

The ACTU President, Ged Kearney, opened their National Congress this week with a speech that was well crafted and about the right length.  It should have gone well but the manner of her delivery unfortunately meant that her speech failed a fundamental test.  From the parts of the speech that were shown on Sky News, she expressed some core beliefs and the values and vision of the Australian Union movement.  Her delivery should have matched the power and passion of her words. It didn’t!

Why?  Because Ged’s head was continually bobbing up and down as she read the speech word for word from the written version on the lectern in front of her.   Just when a point needed to be made with strong conviction, Ged’s head would go down again to read from her written speech.  

  

If only Ged had kept looking up as she spoke!

The audience members saw that Ged’s non-verbal behaviours did not match the words she was speaking.  When it comes to a choice between believing what someone says and what someone does, we always pay more attention and give more credence to what we see people doing.  It was Ged’s non-verbal actions that would have distracted the audience from the actual content of her words.  If she couldn’t speak with her head up, looking at the audience and speak the words clearly and confidently, they could not play their part and listen with their heads and hearts open.

On such a big occasion as opening a National Congress, we can certainly sympathise with Ged.  She wants to remember exactly what is in the speech; she is anxious that she will forget what she has to say.  The solutions are to rehearse the speech a few times over and to memorise some of the really key points.  A quick glance to the written speech every so often to check the next major point should be enough.  Then you can keep looking ahead and around at the audience members who are “the customers” of your message.

In the Confident Presentation Skills workshop, we cover some practical techniques that are great enablers to presenting calmly, clearly and confidently.  This workshop is available as an in-house program exclusively for your staff members or we regularly hold public workshops throughout the year.

Our next Confident Presentation Skillsworkshop is being held in Toowoomba on Tuesday May 29th 2012.  We are registering a maximum number of 10 participants and limited places are still available.

Happy Presenting, 

Lynne Lloyd 

People Results 

www.peopleresults.com.au 

Presenting Confidently: Rise Above Q & A Pitfalls

As applause breaks out across the audience at the business lunch, you realise that your speech has been well received.  You feel pleased and somewhat relieved.  But then, as is the normal protocol, your host invites the audience to ask their questions. 

While you are able to control the content, structure and flow of your presentation, once the baton is passed over to the audience, it is not possible to control who will ask a question and what questions will be asked.  The key point for the Q & A session is that, as the speaker, you are still in control, aided and supported by the moderator of the function. 

You will feel even more in control and confident in your responses with the following tips and techniques from People Results:

Staying in Control

Occasionally a questioner is less interested in asking you a genuine question as they are in promoting their own views in public.  The typical questioner will frame their question with two to three sentences.  By contrast, the expansive questioner will keep talking for an extended period rather than actually asking a question.  This situation does not arise often because most people observe the Q & A protocol and ask a question.

But when it does happen, you need to interrupt the questioner quite strongly and at the same time put your arm up with your hand palm-side out, saying clearly, “I have to STOP you there; time is getting away.  What is your question?”  If the person still persists in not asking a question, interrupt her/him again immediately, “We need to move on.”
 

At the same time, deliberately turn your gaze and body right away from the questioner and toward the rest of the audience members, asking if someone else has a question.

The Hostile Questioner
Rare but it does happen that someone has an “axe to grind.”  Pity that it is against your head!

In this situation, first and foremost, keep calm and composed.  Let your features and expression be completely neutral, neither happy nor unhappy.

Do not respond to the hostile questioner in the same way if he/she was angry, loud and aggressive.  Before you answer, acknowledge to the questioner and to the audience in general that the topic is one that some people feel strongly about and that you understand and respect others’ views provided they are expressed in a respectful, reasonable manner. 

Ask the questioner to remain calm and you will be only too pleased to answer her/his question.  As you respond, acknowledge any points you agree with and acknowledge others where you have a different view.  Be careful not to let the questioner back in as it is not the time or place for a to-and-fro exchange.  


Wrap up your answer on a positive note with any points of common ground.  As you finish, turn your gaze and body to the other side of the audience and ask, “Are there any other questions?”

Gaining Time to Answer
Some questions are unpredictable and come out of “left field.”  Initially your mind goes blank and you struggle to formulate an answer.  Here are some tactics to use in this situation:

·         Throw the question back out to the audience or group members.  “Has anyone else experienced this problem?  Please raise your hands.”  If you get one or some responses, ask him/her, “Can you tell us what happened?  What did you do?”  If you don’t get any responses, you have still “bought” yourself some time to think about the question and come up with a short response.

·         Respond by saying, “Let me check if I understand the question.  You’re asking “……”  By reflecting the question back and clarifying for understanding, you have bought yourself some time to think it through and answer it.

·         Respond by saying, “That’s a very important question; (you’ve bought a little time) and “I would like to answer it by …..”  There may be more than one issue in the question and you can only answer it in part.  Acknowledge when you cannot answer question in full because of time limitations or lack of information.

Talking and Taking Up Too Much Time
The questioner may be one of those meandering speakers who finds it very difficult to go in a direct line in their communication.  Instead they try to give all the background and examples and talk and talk without getting to the question.  This condition is sometimes called “verbal diarrhoea,” and someone who is a sufferer is harmless except that he or she is taking up the limited time for Q & A.

 

Like the Staying in Control situation on the previous page, but this time gently interrupt this questioner and ask, “What is your question?” 

Don’t Know the Answer
When you are asked a very detailed or technical question and you don’t know or are not sure of the answer, say so simply and clearly.  Explain that you don’t want to be specific until you have the current figures or check with someone in your company.  Ask if the person will provide their contact details to you afterwards, and you will be happy to get this information to her/him.

Do you have some tips that have worked well for you or others?  Please add your thoughts and experiences on how to handle the Q & A session with confidence and success. 

If you would like to discuss your professional development (or on behalf of your team members) in public speaking/group presentation skills, please contact us for a confidential, no-obligation conversation.

Happy Speaking!

Lynne Lloyd

Managing Director

People Results

Executive Coaching and Talent Development

Telephone:  +617 39101003

Email:  enquiries@peopleresults.com.au

Web:  www.peopleresults.com.au

Love the Voice You’re In: Managing Our Vocal Image

Like our breathing, our voices are just there.  Any time we want to speak, we do so without effort or preparation.  Because of its ready availability, our voice is something that we take for granted and rarely pause to think about.  Yet how we sound is equally important in building executive presence in our organisation and externally as our visual presentation. As we become more conscious of the power of our vocal image and how to manage it, we can have an impact on and manage how we are perceived within the team and by the senior decision-makers in our organisation.  In this article we will look specifically at challenge for people who have a naturally quiet voice and some easy techniques to be better heard in meetings and other workplace settings. 

Have you ever heard your own voice played back in an audio recording or on a video?  What was your first reaction?  Was it something like, “Oh, what a surprise!  Is that really how I sound?”  When we speak, we actually “hear” our voice internally via our vocal chords to our middle ear and not through our ears.  So we do not hear ourselves as others do unless we listen to a recording of our voice.  When we do hear our voice through our ears, it can seem as if we are hearing someone else’s voice rather than our own.

Certainly if one’s natural voice is so quiet and low that colleagues around a meeting table must strain to hear what we are saying or cannot make out part or all of what we are saying, this will be damaging our vocal image.  The clues will be there.  For example, if others frequently ask you to repeat what you said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch what you just said,” or “I can’t hear you; can you speak a bit louder please?”  Also look out for non-verbal signals such as people around the table looking a bit puzzled or frowning after you speak.  More than likely, they couldn’t hear you and their feelings of frustration and mild irritation are playing out through their facial expressions.  Think about when you want to hear someone’s words, and you can’t– for whatever reason –how do you react?  Do you feel somewhat cut off and even unsettled?  After asking the quiet-speaking team member to repeat their words a couple of times, and you still can’t hear her/him, you will stop asking.  And inevitably you will stop listening.

Here are three People Results’ techniques that are easy to implement and useful for all, particularly the person with the quiet, soft voice:

1. What is your usual posture as you sit at the meeting table?  Do you slump in the chair or crunch your body over the table?  These body positions restrict your air passages and diaphragm which in turn reduces the amount of air you have available when you speak.  Sit upright and feel your spine stretch out.  You will immediately feel more buoyant, alert and authoritative.  Consciously maintain this posture throughout the meeting.

2. Proper breathing is the foundation of a healthy voice.  Raise your awareness of your own breathing and as you prepare to speak, breathe deeply in and out, taking a good amount of air into your diaphragm and lungs.  (An important aside, getting more oxygen into the blood stream by breathing more deeply also pumps more oxygen into our brains and helps us thinker quicker and smarter.)  Our voices are actually supported and carried on cushions of air from our breathing.  Think of your voice as having to be pumped up with air like the tyres on a bicycle you are about to ride.  

3. As you speak, deliberately project your voice forward and out to meet the person who is positioned at the furthest point from you in the room.  You will notice how actors on stage are able to project their voices out across the stage and at times right out to the audience.  The distance you need to project your voice depends on the situation, i.e. how close or far you are from the person at the most distant point in the room.

Summary

Vocal image is one of three core components of a positive and confident executive presence:  how we Look, how we Act, and our Words.  This conclusion has been reinforced by the experiences that some participants in the People Results’ Executive Presence workshops have discussed.  Equally qualified and as technically proficient as their colleagues, they talk about how they are often “drowned out” in meetings by the more dominant voices of their colleagues.  They struggle to get their voices heard even to the point that colleagues have taken ownership and talked knowledgeably about the work or ideas that the participant has been responsible for.  Managers and colleagues come to the conclusion that their quiet colleague is shy and timid and prefers to sit listening in meetings rather than contributing.  To be viewed as a valued contributor, it is critical to be both seen and heard and therefore to develop a clear and credible vocal image. 

People Results is delighted to announce our new Talent Development Program – WomenSpeak – that assists women to connect with their most powerful voice by modifying and enhancing their natural voices:  Registration is open for the WomenSpeak Half-Day Workshop on Thursday, 19th April, 2012 in Brisbane.  If women colleagues in your organisation and network may be interested in attending, please forward the details on to them.  Thank you.

Looking forward to continuing this conversation on vocal image and inviting you to add your thoughts and experiences.

Lynne Lloyd 

People Results 

Email:  enquiries@peopleresults.com.au 

Telephone:  07 3310 1003/ 0421 998749

Web:  www.peopleresults.com.au