What Messages Are You Reinforcing?

What we repeatedly do is what we become known for.  Others form perceptions about us by acutely observing our behaviours.  We are the medium and we are the message. (A tip of the hat to Marshall McLuhan!)

What if someone is always playing the role of “Class Clown” in management meetings?  Even though Andrew meets all his targets and knows his stuff, he is always joking and acting in a flippant, casual manner in meetings.  His managers and peers perceive him as “not serious about the business and doesn’t care about getting into more senior roles.” 

Send in the Clowns!  Don't let it be you.

 What if someone is compliant and meekly accepting when he/she is loaded with more and more work?  When Emma is approached by her manager and colleagues with requests to take on another project or help them research and write the report for the board meeting, she is always obliging and always says “Yes.”  Yet underneath her cheerful exterior, Emma is seething with indignation and frustration that she is always the one who is loaded down with more and more work.   Emma has been reinforcing the message that she is the “Willing Workhorse” who is dependable, gets things done, and likes to help.  

What about someone who is the quieter, more reflective person on the team?  As the National Procurement Manager, Janice is on the executive management team at her company, a leader in the logistics industry.  She attends all the meetings without fail, yet Janice’s voice  is only heard when she is asked a direct question.  Otherwise Janice is content to listen carefully to the vigorous discussions that are the basis for their high-level decision-making.  Janice is certain that the others know her value and her contributions to the business.  She likes to gather all the data, analyse it and formulate her responses and recommendations after the meeting is over and she has time to think through all the options. 

In the minds of the other executive team members, Janice is perceived as a non-player who might as well not even be there.  No, they cannot see what she does behind the scenes; they can only see and hear that she is not “present” when it counts at their meetings.  The Managing Director has noted Janice’s lack of input and interprets it as “reticent to put her views forward, a bit timid, lacking in confidence ….” 

In each of the three examples above, the managers are repeating the same behaviours and reinforcing the same messages over and over again.  Unless they change these behaviours, they will continue to be perceived as:

The Juvenile Joker

The Willing Workhorse

The Quiet Achiever

The solution is to become far more personally self-aware and consciously manage how others perceive you in the key forums of organisational life.   Stop being your “natural self” and letting things take their natural course.  Stop the behaviours that are hurting your image, such as being the Juvenile Joker around the office and in meetings.  When asked yet again to take on more work and your in-tray is overflowing with high-priority projects, deliberately pull back from saying “Yes” like you always have and say “I am not available.”  Be ready to stall, defer and negotiate. 

If you are “The Quiet Achiever,” and need time to prepare before speaking, get into the habit of thinking about and jotting down some comments and questions on key agenda points before you go into the meeting so you feel confident and ready to speak without being prompted.  Be visible and audible in meetings and you will rapidly enhance your executive presence.  If you have found that others are claiming credit for your ideas and solutions, intervene with the appropriate persons and in the appropriate forums with your own clear communication that it was you who deserves the credit.  Do not overlook it when someone claims your ideas.  Immediately step in and correct them.  If they have got away with plagiarising your ideas in the past, they will assume that you won’t challenge them on it.  But you do challenge them and set them back in their box.  They won’t try it again.

In summary, what we consistently do and say is reinforcing the same messages over and over.  If these messages are not how you want to be perceived by significant others (including those who will make decisions on your future), it is time is stop these behaviours and put other ones in their place.  Do it slowly and gradually at first until you know that you can confidently build the messages and meanings that will enhance your executive presence.

To your Success,

Lynne Lloyd

Managing Director

People Results

p.s.  If you would like to attend a professional development program that will get you started on building a strong and successful executive presence, our next ExecutivePresence Half-Day public workshop is being held on Wednesday, 29^th August 2012 in Brisbane.  For more information, contact People Results direct on 1300 167 981 or enquiries@peopleresults.com.au.